If your baby does not see you, does not smell you, does not hear you
We often tell you that a highly recommended exercise when raising and educating children is to try to understand them . Be empathic and put ourselves in their place to find out what they are experiencing and, in this way, get a little closer to their affliction or discomfort and thus know the reason for their behavior.
Speaking of babies, there are many parents who do not fully understand how it is possible that when leaving the baby alone in the crib or the bassinet he starts to cry, or that he sleeps for five or ten minutes and wakes up again when it seemed that he was transfixed. for hours, or why if he stays alone for a moment, he cries too, if he is safe within the four walls of his room.
Well, the answer is quite simple, but few parents know it or internalize it: if your baby doesn’t see you, doesn’t smell you and doesn’t feel you, he doesn’t know you exist .
The bassinet next to the bed
It is always said that the problem is when he does not see you, and it is true, but there is something else. That is, if he doesn’t see you, if he loses you from his visual field , if you disappear, for him you no longer exist. And as long as he’s distracted by some moving toy, color, or pot he’ll forget to think you don’t exist, but since those things have limited fun, he’ll soon realize he’s alone and start crying . Check out more at our Prince Blog.
There are mothers who wonder how it is possible that having him next to him in bed, without touching him, he sleeps half well and having him in the bassinet, attached to the bed, in theory not much further away, he sleeps terrible.
Well, what has been said, it is possible that there, next to the bed, with the minimum light of the lamps that we put on at night to see them, they can open their eyes for a moment, see that we are by their side and continue sleeping so peacefully. But I almost opted more for a matter of smell, noise and recognition of presence.
In the bassinet, although it is open, it is impossible for him to see you. In the bassinet, because it has four walls and is a little sunken inside, our breaths reach it with less force, and it may hear us very far away . In the bassinet, because it has four walls, we can be by his side, even touching the bassinet, but for him we will be very far away.
In bed, however, he can see us, he can smell us with no problem, he can hear us much closer, and he can feel our close presence. And if they don’t notice it, they can move an arm or a leg to make contact. And it may seem unbelievable, but that little leg on top of our body, that little hand that contacts our skin, are enough to make him feel accompanied.
The walls that protect them
Something similar happens when it’s daytime and we put the child in a crib, in a gym or in a park and leave the room for anything (we already know that sometimes you have to cook food, answer the phone, shower and other things). So). Within minutes, or seconds, the child begins to complain about being alone . You think he’s complaining about something else, that he’s pooped, that he’s hungry or whatever, but no, it’s pick him up and stop crying , drop him and do it again, pick him up and calm down again.
You think it’s absurd, that there is no danger, that he is at home, sheltered by a roof, some walls and protected by mom, dad or both, that there are no animals that can attack him, no rain that can get him wet, no cold that freezes your delicate skin, nor a floor full of stones and holes where you can be uncomfortable. There is none of that, and yet he does not accept being there.
Why? Well , because we, dad and mom, know that, but they don’t know it . They know nothing about roofs, walls, rain or stones. In fact they don’t even know anything about animals and dangers. They only feel that being alone they are not well and that is why they ask for contact and care. They only know that if they don’t see you, if they don’t smell you, if they don’t hear you and if they don’t feel you, you don’t exist , and they want you to exist. They need you to exist.